What’s this song about? Other than my ringtone? Ali Spagnola wrote it, and 59 other 59-second songs. Why? Her concerts are a one-hour drinking game, and she spent over $30k in court, so that you could play it. I can’t make this stuff up.
I have a contrasting opinion about this “SCREW YOU CO2″ bicycle t-shirt. Riding bikes increases the air’s carbon dioxide. More than a car? I highly doubt it, but certainly enough that riding a bike does not go as far as to say “screw you”.
Telling people to stop raising animals, to have smaller families, and that they must plant trees on their own property, are all non-starters politically, but those are the best answers.
I added new ones on 2010-08-18 thanks to suggestions by the SV\DL Riders Google list, Kay Kile, and an episode of Top Gear. So far I have avoided punny hair salon names such as “Sheer Perfection“, “A Cut Above“, “US Hair Force“, and “Curl Up And Dye“, but they do deserve a special place. ” (Yes, I know “Curl Up And Dye” is from the Blues Brothers, but folks have used it for real salons too.) I added RePOOPulate on 2013-02-22. My medical-doctor spouse told me about the name, but she doesn’t agree that it belongs here.
Bad Non-automotive Product Names
There are so many poorly-named cars, that they get their own section.
Thumper Ray suggested this one: “How about a drug pronounced ‘ass effects’ that has flatulence listed as the third most common side effect and constipation as number five. Ass effects indeed.” I was actually able to Google the correct spelling of AcipHex by typing it in phonetically: not a good sign.
I can’t make this stuff up. Kay actually brought a box back from Azerbaijan.
Duke Nukem Forever
Apogee Software (a/k/a 3D Realms) released the Duke Nukem video game in 1991, Duke Nukem II in 1993, and Duke Nukem 3D in 1996. The name “Duke Nukem 3D” is a pun; it’s the 3d version of the game, and it’s played in 3D. How will come up with a pun for version Duke 4? How about “Duke Nukem Forever” (4-ever, Duke 4, get it)? …only, it’s been over 13 years since the last version of the game was released. It really is taking them “forever” to complete it.
GoLYTELY is a polyethylene-glycol-electrolyte-solution that makes everything in your digestive system come out really, really fast: “go lightly” indeed. Yes. Polyethylene-glycol is also the stuff in Miralax: which does work mildly, but the same cannot be said for GoLYTELY.
On another note: the word polyethylene-glycol-electrolyte-solution sounds to me like something that you could make by melting a full bottle of Gatorade.
There is a new cancer drug called Nanotax: as if they combined the words “nano” and “tax“, and no, that’s not a mistake. NanoTax is a contraction of the words “nano”, and “paclitaxel“, but who can hear the name of this product without thinking of being taxed for every little thing?
I know how vitally important it is to let your patients know that you are a fan of the geographically local sports team. Who would go to an orthodontist that wasn’t? That said, getting braces is bad enough, without getting razorbraces in your mouth.
Antibiotics can kill your normal gut bacteria, when this happens, a “bad” bacteria named Clostridium difficile can take over and cause symptoms ranging from diarrhea to life-threatening inflammation of the colon.
What’s a hospital to do when this happens? So far they repopulate the normal gut bacteria by implanting a healthy-person’s stool in the patient. I can’t make this stuff up. University of Guelph microbiologist Emma Allen-Vercoe developed a new product to replace the poop, and what did they name it? So far it’s called RePOOPulate. That’s right, even if you use the product that isn’t real poop, every time that you hear-or-read its name you will think of nothing but implanted poop.
Here’s the word on my family’s opinion about this name. Dr. Kay Ann Kile M.D., “I think it’s perfect. I don’t even think that it falls under the category of poorly-named. It’s medical humor.” Gershwin: “if Cassidy was here and she [heard you read that], I would be scarred for life.”
Bad Automotive Product Names
There are so many poorly-named cars, that they get their own section.
Gremlin is also another name for a mechanical problem. This was like naming your Operating System “Buggy”.
Does it aspire to be: a car?
Nova: a star that suddenly increases its light output tremendously and then fades away to its former obscurity in a few months or years.
I never believed the other explanation. Folks would say, “No va means doesn’t go in Spanish!” and I would say, “The word nova means the same thing to Spanish-speaking people as it does to English-speaking people. It’s a scientific term.”
- It’s small enough to fit in your other car.
- You’ll barely fit in it?
- It will remind you of your kids throwing a fit ?
The word charade means a piece of ridiculous pretence which is so obvious that it does not deceive anyone. Was this meant to be a parody of a car? Because it only had 3-cylinders? Americans weren’t buying 3-cylinder cars back then (’88-’92). Daihatsus are no longer sold in the US.
“I know! Let’s name our vehicle after a story about a trip… a trip that takes many years… and takes the lives of many sailors. Yeah that’s a great idea.”
Remember: the prelude introduces what comes later. OK, then that’s the car I want.
Lancing what? Lancing boils? Lancing people on horseback?
It’s not real. It’s only a mirage.
Is it just barely a car?
Toyota Urban Cruiser
I believe that Jeremy Clarkson of Top Gear described an Urban Cruiser as “someone that you don’t want around a school with children in it”. That sounds about right. It’s not available in the US, but it is very similar to a Scion xD, which is.
From the Office of Reused Product-names
This is a Honda Odyssey. These little guys were sold from 1977 until sometime in the 1980’s It was a very popular product, but who today thinks about anything, except minivans when they hear the name “Honda Odyssey”? I really envied the people that drove these when I was a teenager. I lived in the Adirondack area, and folks would ride these on the frozen ice. This video is by alicecooper2009 (if that is his real name):
Microsoft Access isn’t a very good name for a DBMS. When I mention that folks usually say, “But it helps you to ‘access’ data”, but all programs help you to access data. Being able to use a computer, when you cannot even get to a physical console? Now, that would be a good product for the name Access to belong to, and it did. Microsoft Access was originally the name of a Terminal Emulator.
Mitsubishi Lancer, Mitsubishi Mirage
It was the best of car names, it was the worst of car names. This is the tale of two car names.
When Mitsubishi first chose to sell the Mitsubishi Lancer in the US, they called it the “Mitsubishi Mirage”, because Chrysler used to sell a car called the “Dodge Lancer” in the US. Eventually Chrysler gave Mitsubishi permission to sell a car named “Lancer” in the US, so they eventually renamed the US Mirage the “Mitsubishi Lancer”.
At this point you are probably thinking, “OK Paul, but Mitsubishi sold a car in the US called the ‘Mitsubishi Mirage’ at the same time that they were calling the Mitsubishi Lancer the ‘Mitsubishi Lancer’ in the US,” and if that’s what you are thinking, then you are correct. The Great Mistubishi Mirage/Lancer Naming Disaster has additional chapters.