Did you ever notice how some conventions tend to go hand-in-hand?  In this case I am not referring to “norms” or what IT folks like to call “standards”.  Oh, no.  I am referring to the other meaning of the phrase “conventions colliding”.  The meaning where folks going to Las Vegas for the Consumer Electronics Show (CES) end up running into folks going to Las Vegas for the Adult Entertainment Expo.  The fact that porn has driven the early-adoption of various video mediums (VHS, DVD, CD-ROM, etc.), and that CES is in-part about new forms of video media, is entirely coincidental, but serendipitous nonetheless.

Kay goes to a the Symposium on Advanced Wound Care (SAWC) convention every year, and I like to tag along, so that’s where we are right now (2007-05-01).  One of the lectures that she attended was called “Healing the Wounds of War”.  Kay is a wound doctor, and the “wounds” referred to in the name of this particular lecture are quite literally difficult wounds incurred during the Iraq war.  There is, coincidentally, another convention going on in our hotel, only I suspect that this one is being attended by the actual leaders of the International Coalition in Iraq, and they aren’t really hiding what they are here for.  (I can’t make this stuff up.)

OK, I am going to stop right here.  I may tell you something about the “whys” and “hows” after the two conventions are over, and the folks in-question have all left the hotel.

(The section above was written on 2007-05-01.  It’s now 2007-05-04.)

Here is what I remember:

  • Kay, and I checked into the Tampa Embassy Suites (near Channelside) on April 27.  I began noticing military men milling around the hotel lobby.  I thought, “What a nice place to let them stay before they leave for duty. “  Well, that isn’t very likely, is it?  (*cough* Building 18 *cough*)
  • The American soldiers weren’t wearing any symbols-of-rank.
  • I saw at least one Australian, one Romanian, and one Iraqi soldier there.
  • I followed a friendly Australian soldier to the registration desk.  I was going there to get change for the laundry.  He was going there to ask the desk clerk to call General Pace for him.  Well, the desk clerk looked really confused, and she wasn’t able to call General Pace for some reason.  She was able to give me change for the laundry though.  BTW: General Peter Pace is the Vice Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, and uh, Google rocks, and I don’t trust my own memory to be sure that he said, “Pace”, but I do think that was the name that I heard him say.
  • I passed their main conference room on the way to do the laundry.  The sign in the window said: “COALITION CONVENTION OPS”.
  • There was a private-party-poolside on the-night-of April 30.  Kay and I hopped onto the elevator to go to the third floor to get our now-cleaned-and-dried laundry.  The man to the left of me had a name tag with the words “Coalition in Iraq” on it, and the title on his nametag was “Mr.”, and the country on his nametag was “US”.  The man to the right of me had a similar name tag, but his title was “MG” instead of “Mr.”, his country was “Iraq”, instead of “US”, and “MG” is an abbreviation for “Major General”, and uh, Wikipedia rocks.  The folks that went to the party were wearing suits.  My guess is that it is disrespectful to be seen drinking in public while wearing the uniform, but I don’t actually know why they ditched the fatigues.   Interestingly enough “Mr.” was still wearing some type of boot; he probably wasn’t comfortable without them.
  • The sign on the way to the private party said, “J5 MacDill“.
  • President Bush came to Tampa the very next day to explain to the troops that there would be “chaos” if US troops withdraw from Iraq.  IF?

Needless to say I came up with a few of silly things to say to Kay.  Things like:

  • These Americans are such capitalists that they rent-out rooms in their embassy.
  • I thought that we were going to the embassy?  This is the Embassy Suites.
  • Hah, hah, Joe may be a Lieutenant Colonel, but he’s the lowest rank here, let’s have him watch the hotel, while we go see the President.  (There was actually one soldier in the lobby on the day that the President came to Tampa.)

…but more-clever folks came up with Quagmire Accomplished.