From the Office of Poorly-named Products

Barf

I can’t make this stuff up.  Kay actually brought a box back from Azerbaijan.

Duke Nukem Forever

Apogee Software (a/k/a 3D Realms) released the Duke Nukem video game in 1991, Duke Nukem II in 1993, and Duke Nukem 3D in 1996.  The name “Duke Nukem 3D” is a pun; it’s the third version of the game, and it’s played in 3D.  How will come up with a pun for version Duke 4?  How about “Duke Nukem Forever” (4-ever, Duke  4, get it)?  …only, it’s been 12 years since the last version of the game was released.  It really is taking them “forever” to complete it.

Ford Gremlin

Gremlin is also another name for a mechanical problem.  This was like naming your Operating System “Buggy”.

Ford Aspire

Does it aspire to be a car?

Chevy Nova

Nova: a star that suddenly increases its light output tremendously and then fades away to its former obscurity in a few months or years.

I never believed the other explanation. Folks would say, “No va means doesn’t go in Spanish!” and I would say, “The word nova means the same thing to Spanish-speaking people as it does to English-speaking people. It’s a scientific term.”

Honda Fit

• It’s small enough to fit in your other car.
• You’ll barely fit in it?
• It will remind you of your kids throwing a fit ?

Honda Odyssey

We read an English translation of Homer’s “The Odyssey” in fifth grade.  All of the men that went on the trip with Odysseus died. “I know! Let’s name a vehicle that families take on trips after a story about a trip, where almost everyone dies!  That’s a great idea!”

Honda Prelude

Remember: the prelude introduces what comes later.  OK, then that’s the car I want.

Mitsubishi Lancer

Like what? Lancing boils?

Mitsubishi Mirage

It’s not real. It’s only a mirage.

Nanotax

There is a new cancer drug called Nanotax: as if they combined the words “nano” and “tax“, and no, that’s not a mistake. NanoTax is a contraction of the words “nano”, and “paclitaxel“, but who can hear the name of this product without thinking of being taxed for every little thing?

Subaru Justy

Is it just barely a car?

From the Office of Reused Product-names

Honda Odyssey

This is a Honda Odyssey. These little guys were sold from 1977 until sometime in the 1980′s It was a very popular product, but who today thinks about anything, except minivans when they hear the name “Honda Odyssey”?  I really envied the people that drove these when I was a teenager.  I lived in the Adirondack area, and folks would ride these on the frozen ice.

Honda Pilot

The original Honda Pilot was not an SUV.  It was a miniature dune buggy, just like the Honda Odyssey.  Bad Honda.  No bisquit.

Microsoft Access

Microsoft Access isn’t a very good name for a DBMS.  When I mention that folks usually say, “But it helps you to ‘access’ data”, but all programs help you to access data.  Being able to use a computer, when you cannot even get to a physical console?  Now, that would be a good product for the name Access to belong to, and it did.  Microsoft Access was originally the name of a Terminal Emulator.

Mitsubishi Lancer, Mitsubishi Mirage

At one point Mitsubishi had a couple of cars.  One was the Lancer, and the other was the Mirage.  When they decided to import the Mirage to the United States they named it the Lancer, so when they decided to import the Lancer to the United States they named it the Mirage.  Folks see these cool off-road Rally Lancers racing in Europe, so they want one like that!  Mitsubishi gives the US car some body styling to look like the Rally cars, that’s cool right? …but the racing Lancers were called Mirages in the US, so the Lancer that you bought way-back-when with the cool wing wasn’t really what those race cars were based off of at all. Those cars were actually based off of the Mirage that was sitting in your Mom’s driveway.  Why do companies reuse product names?