Total FAWDOT

(Originally written on 2015-05-08 as /archives/7136)

Here is an image of Eno L. Camino getting FAWDOT. I am in “good company”, apparently.

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Kay took a photo of me playing an exciting game of Destiny (online multiplayer). I fell asleep, and woke up, six times. I have no idea what the other players thought I was doing.

Last week I was totally FAWDOT (falling asleep while doing other things). I cannot drive when I get this way:

  • I fell asleep while sitting: repeatedly.
  • I fell asleep while standing.
  • I fell asleep while playing video games.

Gary gets totally FAWDOT here. Yes, I actually fell asleep there. (And yes, I realize that the comic is actually a restroom pun, but I find my humor where I find it.)

I have systemic exertion intolerance disorder/ myalgic encephalomyelitis / chronic fatigue syndrome (pick a name, pick an abbreviation: SEID/ME/CFS).

Kay again: what a joker.
Kay again: what a joker.

This is a rebuttal to some myths:

  • Please don’t say, “At least you get to sleep.” I am just as tired when I wake up. Do you want to know what I really want to do? I want to be a computer programmer. I did that for 20 years, but I can no longer do that.
  • Some people don’t believe that it exists, because they can’t see it. People can’t see headaches either, but they believe in them, because headaches are so common that most of us have had one. “I can’t see it, so it doesn’t exist” is a misuse of Occam’s Razor.
  • It is not only fatigue. Imagine having the flu, while being drunk, and staying awake for two days, and you will have an idea of what this is like. Yes, there are good days, and there are bad days, but my good days still require 16 hours of sleep. The bad days require twenty hours.
  • It is serious: “CDC studies show that CFS can be as disabling as multiple sclerosis, lupus, rheumatoid arthritis, heart disease, end-stage renal disease, chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD), and similar chronic conditions.”
  • It is not, or not only, caused by mononucleosis. A person with ME/CFS can usually tell you exactly what viral infection preceded their condition. The answer is different for different people.
  • It is not depression. A person with ME will tell you what they would be doing (kayaking, photography, riding motorcycles) if they could. People that are depressed don’t have that “positive” (for lack of a better word) outlook. That said: a person can have both.
  • It is not only seen in women. 20% of people with ME/CFS are men.
  • There is no known cure.
  • It is not the “yuppie disease”. “This term was popularized in a November 1990 Newsweek cover story… It reflects a stereotype that CFS mainly affects yuppies, and implies that it is a form of burnout. The phrase is considered offensive by patients and clinicians.
  • It is not a new, made-up, diagnosis. It has also been known as (from here, here, and here.):
    • Neurasthenia (as early as 1829)
    • Chronic Epstein-Barr virus syndrome
    • Chronic mononucleosis
    • Low natural killer syndrome
    • Atypical poliomyelitis
    • Tapanui flu
    • Royal Free disease
    • Epidemic neuromyasthenia
    • Post-viral illness
    • Florence Nightingale disease
    • Chronic fatigue and immune dysfunction syndrome (CFIDS)
    • Neuroendocrineimmune disorder
    • Myalgic encephalopathy.

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My spouse bought me a t-shirt that says, “Regrettably, all the good paying jobs start before I wake up.”

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Rockwell OV-10 Bronco

What a beautiful, powerful, airplane.

I hate violence, but I love military vehicles. Planes are always cool!

I am currently reading Da Nang Diary: A Forward Air Controller’s Gunsight View of Flying with SOG. The OV-10 Bronco is one of the stars of the story. Here are some cool photos.

I remember my father building a model of this plane. The instructions claimed that it could carry five troops. But Tom Yarborough, who flew the plane, and wrote the book, never said anything like that about that much luggage space, and too much weight in the back of an airplane is dangerous. (Although you can find drawings on the web showing five people back there: four sitting, and one standing. Maybe with no weapons, and no external fuel tanks?)

By USN (Official U.S. Navy photograph [1]) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons
By Jakub Haun (Own work) [GFDL (http://www.gnu.org/copyleft/fdl.html) or CC BY-SA 4.0-3.0-2.5-2.0-1.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0-3.0-2.5-2.0-1.0)], via Wikimedia Commons
By Jakub Haun (Own work) [GFDL (http://www.gnu.org/copyleft/fdl.html) or CC BY-SA 4.0-3.0-2.5-2.0-1.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0-3.0-2.5-2.0-1.0)], via Wikimedia Commons
By Jakub Haun (Own work) [GFDL (http://www.gnu.org/copyleft/fdl.html) or CC BY-SA 4.0-3.0-2.5-2.0-1.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0-3.0-2.5-2.0-1.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

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How To REALLY Drive on Ice

(Originally posted on 2016-05-22)

How much to turn? Which way to turn? Opposite lock: really? The point of this post is to provide a simple 100% accurate answer. My child is now learning how to drive, so this is timely information in my life.

What do you do if your car skids out (ice, water, mud)? You simply point your tires where you want to go. (In non-ABS cars, you also release your brake.)

This says, “turn into the slide,” and “turn your wheels in the direction that the rear of your car is sliding.” In other words: if the back of the car is sliding to the left, and the front of the car is pointing to the right, then you steer left. OK, but how much? Simply point your tires where you want to go.

TexasDex at the English language Wikipedia [GFDL (http://www.gnu.org/copyleft/fdl.html) or CC-BY-SA-3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/)], via Wikimedia Commons
Please pay attention to where the tires point. It’s where the driver wants to go. (CC-BY-SA-3.0 via Wikimedia Commons)
At 1:30 minutes into this video Doc Hudson shows how to steer in a skid. This is on dirt, but ice is the same thing, both are low traction oversteer conditions. Notice how he points his tires where he wants to go. Simple.

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I adopted Gershwin!

(Originally posted for date 2007-11-30 as /archives/124)
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I adopted my wonderful daughter Gershwin Rose Santo Kile (f/k/a Malahat Huseynova) on 2007-11-30.  Kay had adopted her from an Azerbaijani (Azeri) orphanage five years ago.  I would have legally remained Gershwin’s stepfather without this adoption. Our judge was Judge Frank J. Yeoman Junior.

I couldn’t adopt Gershwin when Kay and I married.  I had to wait a year (that’s Kansas Law), even though:

  1. There is no “real” father (Gershwin was abandoned).
  2. Kay was single when she adopted Gershwin, so there wasn’t even a “real” stepfather.

Ironically, the Azerbaijani bureaucracy demanded that a father’s name be put on the birth certificate, even though their government provided the proof that there was no father.  In the eyes of these post-Soviet bureaucrats — this isn’t lying — it’s filling out the form correctly.  Kay put “Santo Kile” in the blank.  I would have been tempted to write “Not Applicable”, because the clerks didn’t read English anyway.

In any case, Gershwin’s middle names became “Rose Santo”, and her last name became “Kile”, when Kay’s adoption was complete.

Thank you, attorney Kevin Cook!

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How To Shoot Fireworks

(Originally posted on 2016-07-06)

This is why you should use a camera with a bulb setting. You open the shutter when you hear the first pop, and close it when the light dims to get something like this:

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© 2013, Paul Danger Kile, All Rights Reserved

In this video Richard Harrington tells us how to shoot fireworks (for Macphun):

This infographic covers the same information (below):

By Richard Harrington, and Macphun.

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Okie Noodling

(This was originally posted on 2008-01-07 as /archives/143)

Noodling is a traditional form of fishing where the fisher uses his own arm as bait, and risks being wounded, or risks being sucked down by the massive fish.  The movie (Okie Noodling) is fun.  I have a copy. I bought it on a hunch, because I dig The Flaming Lips (soundtrack), and I dig fish.

The practice is controversial, because the fish are pregnant females, so overfishing is risky to catfish populations.  Proud noodlers believe that their techniques are fair, and safe, and say “that’s not noodling” about other folks’ techniques.  The movie doesn’t really explain this, which is unfortunate.

Jeremy Bennett and his friends actually were noodling during the movie’s tournament, and that they actually caught the largest cat, but instead of entering their fish they had more beer, or something.  Yes, that tournament win would have gotten them into the movie, and like everyone in that movie, Jeremy would have said, “that’s not noodling”, but these guys don’t brag about getting the largest catfish, they just eat it.

I can’t make this stuff up.

Talking about Noodling forced me to find an old picture from the very first noodling contest held at Pauls Valley. The pic is in terrible shape; i had to scan it in and then play with colors just so you can view it. These guys were your real winners. Erick Strickland on the left (RIP friend) was the best noodler to ever walk the banks of the soggy Oklahoma rivers. Micheal Martin in the Middle is a [deleted] and a good noodler when he’s not scared. I don’t know the other guy in the picture. The one man missing from this picture is Kieth Lamb, and he is the only person that could ever go 1-on-1 with Erick in technique, finding fish….doing it all. These 2 individuals were the best……….They were your true but not technical winners that day from the okie noodlin video. The fish on the right bumps the scales at about 68 pounds, with the other 2 in the lower 60s. that’s 180 pounds of fish that would have smashed both the biggest stringer and largest single fish weighed in that day, into oblivion ——- Long story short —–these guys were about an hour late to the weigh in. (not to bad considering that the contest lasts for 24 straight hours)

And one more thing, Erick and Keith Noodled the correct way. (There is a correct way to do it). They taught me the correct way. No gloves, sleeves, shirts, hooks, stringers, shoes. Just you, the fish, and the fish’s hole or crevice that it decided to be in that day. You take your blood, cuts, breaks, and scars with the sport. No complainers.

One thing I learned is that beer helped me become a better noodler. It seemed to provide a bit of lubrication between the utter fear of inserting my arm under a rock and waiting for it to get bit – akin to the feeling you get by slamming your hand or forearm in a car door (repeatedly).

Above all……the caught fish get cleaned, and then eventually eaten. very, very little waste. – Jeremy Bennett

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